Karmic Lessons

Tact, Patience & Cooperation
i'm a stew of contradiction all rolled into one odd sized bundle. at times, i harp on the tiniest details but at other times, i tend to have a make-do tendency. it's all about the big picture right? patience, me, patience... i think i'm learning to grasp this pretty well. observance is a whole new animal altogether. i almost always do not see anything else outside of my line of sight.

Hard Work
i try, really, i try very hard. but i strongly believe in the taboo work-smart-not-work-hard-for-nothing philosophy. my patience has been tried to the max and in my opinion, i've paid my dues. it's time for me to reap the seeds i sow, no?

Domestic Responsibility
ok, i think i can safely say that i've pretty much managed to almost graduate from this class. i take my responsibility as seriously as i can master and believe that there is no perfect person out there. i do not impose my views on others and i've do what i can with my considerably trying life, while recognizing that i definitely am one of the more fortunate ones out there.

Emotional & Spiritual Mastery
faith? this is perhaps the one thing that will always baffle me. i do not have faith in most things because i believe in murphy's law. this is like a totally different religion! i am always prepared for the worse, yet at the same time trust in my luck that things will work out one way or another. afterall, there are always solutions, aren't there? the only difference lies in whether it may be a better solution or a not too ideal alternative. bereavement, loneliness, poverty, and/or isolation. seems like i may be heading down that road...

Compassion
i only believe in compassion toward some people but have totally no empathy for some. i am of an extreme kind. strong compassion or an emotionless state. i have learnt to always step into the other party's shoes, to view things as they will, to understand their thoughts and their actions, for i believe that every individual have their own set of motivations and viewpoints. you can assume and you can interprete anything in your own way but that's where the line ought to be drawn. you can voice your opinions but you surely cannot force your image down another's throat. surely, they're entitled to their thoughts and interpretation too, no matter how senseless it might appear to you.

they say, only when you learn the lesson of compassion, do you begin to rid yourself of emotional pain. learn as i may have, this lesson does not seem to do any good for my emotional turmoils

in a random thought of how life's theories could be observed in our everyday life, sometimes without us even thinking of it -

i was in a beginner's art class couple of months ago. every student in the studio was asked to draw the same set of still life objects that the artist posed at the front of the studio. instructions given at the beginning of the lesson was to pick out the type and color of paint and to pick out your position with your easel and seat in an empty space in the studio. every one made their choices and proceeded to create a decent painting with their limited understanding of the teacher's brief instructions and guidance. at the end of the lesson, everybody's canvas turned out totally different, varying from the choice of paint and the view that each had of the objects. i guess this very experience and scenario could be used to explain how each individual's understanding of that very same object or matter could vary based on the direction that they are looking at it from - whether they are viewing it from the front or from any other direction, whether sufficient light has been casts from where they are viewing the object from, or if they have already had a pre-conceptualized notion of how the outcome should or shouldn't be. from where i was sitting, my painting certainly seemed right but i could not say that the girl sitting opposite me has completely no perception since she certainly is viewing the matter from another direction.

now, if only someone could note down my random theories and sudden epiphanies with my odd example citations from my very random moments, maybe i'd have a pretty readable book that could make your head swim.